What if Miss Universe were actually universal? 👽👑

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A New Miss Universe

Okay hear me out… Every year we crown Miss Universe—but let’s be honest, it’s more like Miss Earth. 🌍 Like, where are the contestants from Saturn? Why hasn’t Miss Andromeda made an appearance yet? Are we gatekeeping the galaxy?

Imagine the talent round:

Miss Mars does a gravity-defying dance routine.
Miss Venus stuns in a gown made of acid-resistant crystals.
Miss Jupiter? Just a massive gas cloud with killer charisma.
And Miss Alpha Centauri—telepathic poetry. I’d cry.

And let’s not forget the interviews:

Host: “What’s your plan to bring peace to the universe?”
Miss Orion: “First, we stop vaporizing each other over star systems. Then, intergalactic karaoke night.”

Seriously though, if aliens ever tune in and see us calling it “Miss Universe” while only Earth ladies compete… they’re probably rolling their many eyes. 👁️👁️👁️

Just saying: until there’s a nebula queen and a moonbeam diva on that stage… it’s Miss Local at best.